


The pin

by blossominthesnow



Category: Holby City
Genre: Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 20:19:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15893409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blossominthesnow/pseuds/blossominthesnow
Summary: Just a few thoughts by Hanssen on why Roxanna acted the way she did towards the pin.





	The pin

He stood staring at the small pin in his hand. How could he have been so wrong about the gift? He still wasn’t sure why she reacted the way she did but he could guess.  
David wasn’t some distant memory to him and he certainly wasn't to her. The pain from his death was clearly still raw for her. The pin had been a reminder of their youth, a time when they had been dedicated to the pursuit of medical excellence and their friendship.  


How could he have been so foolish as to think he could stir up such memories without consequence. David was still such a presence in both their lives. The happy memories of America now seemed tinged with sadness. Those four friends had had the whole world ahead of them but that was a lifetime ago. David was gone and Roxanna and John were burying themselves in work much as he had.  
When Henrik had been with them, he felt he could bury the guilt of his past. The woman he had loved, the child he had left, the father he no longer spoke of. He had been where he should be and with the people who could inspire him and help him reach his full potential. Surely the ends justified the means?  


He had been so proud back then, so determined to succeed. If he had been more focused on those around him perhaps everything would have been different. Would he have noticed that he was losing Roxanna to David? Not that he could begrudge David anything.  


David had been the heart of the group. He was the last to join their little band but he had been a welcome addition. Especially to Roxanna who seemed to have instantly met a person who understood her and what drove her. Out of all of them he seemed to be the one who could relate the most to patients. Everything he did was for the individual not just for the prestige of being the first to do it. Perhaps that had been what had drawn Roxanna to him.  


John had been the steely brain of the group. Quietly observing others, watching their movements and the decisions they made. He was able to mimic what he thought people wanted and over time he was able to use this skill to secure funding and get on the best research projects. Henrik had been drawn to him as a friend as he had often felt the same way about people. He never quite fit in and was more of an observer of human behaviour rather than a partaker. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the same feelings or emotions as others he had just learnt to hide them, to bury them deep down inside.  


Roxanna with her bright pink hair and Doc Martens had been a breath of fresh air to the two young men. Bursting with ideas and not afraid to share them she was the soul of the group. No less determined than the rest of the group but more at ease with people. She pushed boundaries and drove them all on. She was the best at dealing with John when he was unhappy or pushing for something he would never get. She could talk him round and make him see other solutions. Henrik admired that in her, whilst he could talk to John he never felt that John was fully listening.  


David was the heart, John the brain and Roxanna the spirit but what was he? Was he the moral compass that various staff had called him? Could he really be the moral compass when he had let his son down so badly? When he could not bear to be around Jac Naylor knowing the devastation his son had brought her. But John was changing that and he could at least rest easy knowing that his friend was able to help her. And Essie and Oliver had forgiven him, if forgiven was the right word. Things were beginning to return to normal.  


He placed the pin in his pocket and sighed. His therapist had asked him what he saw in his future but all he seemed able to do was dwell on the past for now. A streak of pink hair, an infectious laugh and the stomp of Doc Martens. He walked back towards the ward. At least he had his work he told himself.


End file.
